Right oover the top , yes its my proof of my obsession over him

why like that ah ? i also donknow leh.

Anw, main post tday is not abt Jiawei

it is about me myself and i , and yes i considered that a quite secretive thing .

so thus i m posting it here. w no one to comment yes?

well anw , though nt all i m posting about is him. bt got some got him lah.

Well. everyone knows i obviously LOVE him to the core =x

Anw. yes , i regret alot of things i have done . from past til now.

and that greatly includes lying to the one i love . regardless of friends or family .

Nobody knows my lies . am i tooo superb in covering thm up or did they not want to expose the lies cos thy know i would be embarassed.

& yes. some lies are fuccking unrealistic. i don believe thy donknow its just lie.

--" anw. till nw i m stil lying, i hate it . hate myself

bt seriously my lies are like . covering it up for my own zibei-gan.

my lies is to protect myself from being hurt.

my lies are just another world for me to live in.

it didnt hurt. so shd i stop ? its starting t become a habit now .

Anw . i regret quite alot of things.

pinhao. cheehow , alot lah . shunxing , weifeng , hongkai & fuck yes i regret yongquan .

evrything is so right. everything , yes until he got busy w some asshole stuffs and let me rot and die.

& thus i decide to give up him,

peers and so.

shit . i missed out bike and so.

fuck , he is such a good catch. dmn it ,

yes i regret , bt he has flown away, no way he is gna come back.

and yes. i duno how t flirt and i m not a very pretty girl.

I said not very* NOTED.

bt yes i do think i m satisfied w my looks. i m pretty ,yes i know i m w my make up. without it. i m nthg though --

Dno. i m always guessing ppls feelings for me , yes i m always like playing too cool for them

i shd chg this though.

girl said : its okay to be flirtious w th guy you like.

well. jw is not gng t fall for any anyway.

i m just tooo low for him

forget it jw. i m . just tooo tired for your nonsense .

i m feeling so tired everytime i talk t you.

like example i msg you. evrytime i will seee whether you got msg back nt, evry few seconds noted. NOT HOUR IS SECOND.

ffuck --" i m like obsessed over you lah.

and yes if you dont reply , my whole day will be ruined.

if you did reply , you wont reply more thn 5 anw

so the day is ruined too.

& i m only gng thru your mind only when you are bored. only when ppl you msg wont reply you.

shit. zhangjiawei. wht am i to you seriously ?

dog ? so that you can call here when you lk. and chase away when you dont?

Fuck.. yes i donwant to think until you so bad luh.

but. all the things you do just show you treat me like Dog?!!!

--"

i m in no mood to post now agn! shit --"

i m gng t bed. gg sentosa w my dearest tmr (:

photos up in my own blog sooon

Anw i m so gng t make a xmas card for my dearest sis - jojo .

and yes i m gng t shop fr sis lovelies xmas gifts soon --"

shall ask sumone t pei me.

and yes. i wna shop for tt assshole guy one tooo.

(:

Fuck lahs.
shit shit shit !
cheeeebye seriously .
i think i m fucking stress-ed , i swear my tears just cant help it when i think of him now.
he gave me too much Empty hopes. and yes.
it was nothing , i was nothing to him.
no one important , just some asshole that msges him, just some asshole he dont bother to get back my number. JUST ANOTHER ASSHOLE. do you understand!?
Anw. seriously lah,
alot ppl also say , he cfm got interest in you one leh. arbo why he like that, dance sumore eh. ;D
WTF. those ppl fuck off and die. give me more false hope.
bt zhangjiawei ah, whats ur problem uh!
why do you hv to give me false hope and so.

do you knw its more hurting this way,
i rather in th first place you just ask me fuck off and rot and die.
i m happy , yes i m happy when we dance , happy when we smsed along and play
happy when yes my alarm ring 7.3o i get to morning call you and hear your voice.
what more. bt to you , its just sian and sian , and yes you happy you msg me a lil while.
you buay sian , you just fuck care me ,
fuck la.. i m gng t try all my best forget you.
BTR STILL ERASE YOU FROM MY MEMORY ,
yes i m drained. my eye is tired. my heart is very dry now,
very chui feeling .
i hate it.
and yes. thanks to you , i got nobody now.
FUCK OFF . SHOOO . DON EVER BOTHER TO TALK T ME !
DON SEE ME , SEE ALSO PRETEND I M ANOTHER SHIT K !

All my hopes are once again shaattered .
thank you ah zhangjiawei.
you make everyone think ,"yesyes, now jl got chance le " & thn now you make everybody pitied me.
fuck. i don like to be pitied on, i don like,
why m i nt good enuf for you ? wtf happen to you . pls tell me man.
just bcos you lost your phone , you jus cut off all contact w me . i really dont knw wht i did wrong.
you are always like that.
just come and go as you please.
fuck you okay! i m nt a hotel or wht fuck.
cheeeeebye. seriously.
i really donknw wht th fuck i m waiting for ? what fuck ?!
the last few days after np45 seriously is th most fucking happiest memories you give me.
am i saying byebye nw?
FUCK. JW ,I DONWAN TO SAY BYEBYE LAH!
--"
i m not inferior okay. i stilll think i one day more pretty thn one day sial --"
lame onnly

Arghhh .rrrr. grrr..

i m feeling veryvery bad now !\

i wish i got a knife now. so i could kill myself.

well. i could really jump down now if things got worse.

i hope not..

As if jw didnt talk to me , or reply me last night isnt worsee enough for me,

i fucking got warning from lecturers that if i skip any more fucking bored lessons , i mfucking gnna get debar lah --"

fuck only --"

And as if that wasnt enough,

Tday he fucking Nver talk to me again.

& as if that wasnt the end. mummy fucking come and see my make ups.& found out i took her cliques lipgloss. SHIT I WAS SUPPOSE TO PUT BACK --"

but well.

--"

And yes , my dearest winxwinx just tell me she saw jw with girls . pretty girls .

weifeng w girls .

yes i admit i don like weifeng. bt somehow i want him to still conc on me .

& i seriously think well, he is scary , i cant trust him now =x

barrier. sorry wf ):

say i m selfish. i donknow . fuckshit .

i donknow why i become lik tt lah.

AND FOR JW . i said i wont give up.

well till now , havent chg! bt soooon la

somehow i m sick and tired of his attitude towards me

i m sick and tired of empty hopes.

really damn sick and tired is , i must always make the first move.

its tiring to like a person , and wanting him to notice you.

i seriously only hope that you would just . notice me

am i so insignificant serioously?

who have you hurt? your blog?

hais. i m gng t go crazy le.

fate. wht is the nexxt one ?

fuck i m so gng t slp ! tmr 8 class!

cheeeebye btr dont let ! 3gu wil just kill me.

chop my head off --

kkk la! ciaos. (:

Tears just keep rolling uncontrolltably down my cheeks,
thinking over and over again,
whether the decision i made is right?
well, i still havent made it final , promise ben&sisters tday will be the day i decide wht route to tk .
Give up zhangjiawei, or . Give it my all.
不到最后 , 我不会放弃 .
which one shoould i choose ? is my love deeep for him to endure all these 暗恋的痛苦.
or is my love easily broken , like now this situtation i would choose to give up
hms, neither of these choices is good , bt i stil have to make one and stick to it ,

Well. Holding on although it is painful bcos i donknow how much i can endure
i donknow when i would suddenly feel too pain to carry on,
i donknow how much the girl love you, how much you love the girl.
i donknow how long i can hold on.
i donknw even i hold on , will you be touched.
Benedict told me , i would have a higher chance . is he sure?
how sure cn he be?
have you told him smth?
bt he said no. you didnt mention to anyone , nt even ben abt me,
the dance ? is it fake? You thought i m just one party girl.
i m so soorrry boy. that is so wrong,
i m a traditional girl. i hold on tight to my stand . i m nt one that let ppl hold my hand easily or believe any fuck talk without action ,

what m i seriously ?
what if i just give up now?
just cut off all connection to you.
i dont believe you do not have any interest in me ?
i seriously dont think now i cant pei shang you?!! what fuck!? why cant i ?
boy i seriously tell you, i m not a plain jane anymore.
i m presentable . i m not only being able to satisfy a few glance of others.
I m now able to let people fall , just fall w me ,
I M A CONFIDENT GIRL. i wont let you nor anyone spoil what i have now of myself.
seriously , i still wonder why you lie to me?
you know that one is me thn you come over de. why still gey siao , are you jiale?
hai. i donknow you lah. wtf ==
i really donkw. to9 i will blog my answer thn. ciaos(:

Darling isnt it ?

this pict is like fuckingggggggggggg nice luh .

thanks to winx sister. well. i know she cant see it. bt i still wanna thanks her (:

Anw. its a really funny thing how fate plays a part from meeting him .

Its how a wonderous thing why i just cant forget this person .

its how a miracle how fate keeeep let me bang onto him ,

keeep encouraging me not to give up him .

hms, i just cant forget how inferior i felt to him .

he is the light. the limelight of all.

The Prince of all the girls/bitches .

But me ? i m just a simpleeeee girl , i m yearning for a simple love.

i m just a plain girl next dooor that might satisfy just a few glances of others.

Would Prince like this kinda girl ?

i really got nothing attractive for you to fall in love w me .

Confidence seeeping away gradually . i just cant act all high and mighty & perfect when ya w me .

i feeeeeeeeeeeel like a fuckard.

bt boy. i really wanna be w you .

From the moment i saw your eyes among those Crowds of people .

i Knew from the looook, i m seriously gng t get played by fate.

i tried hard nt to get close to you . i set a barrier up to th stand that we only cn be friend.

bt you put my barrier down. by just saying miss ya.

why ?

are we just friends or more?

Its a miracle that i met you in np45.

At first i thought nothing will happen cos you just walk pass me and took a glance at me.

But fateeee. hahaha Fate (:

you came to us . and thn you somehow ask me

Are you jiale .

My god . your voice that scene. its like so magical.

(:

Somehow whn you tell me you dont regconize me my first reaction is tell you itz bcos i m insignifigcant to you ?

i rmb once you told me , you cant rmb me bcos i m so insignificant to your life.

meaningless passerby uh.

however. halloween night. Is really the most magical night for me,

you held my hand tight and dance.

sway to the music when we dance.

you touch my hair. and hold me even thy let go .

why ? do you have tht teeeny weeny feelings too ?

magical magical. Now? what should i do ?

i m so afraid of losing you again .

Its like we are making such big progress now. wht if i just give up now ?

what will happen?

Joyce? is your heart still w her?

are you willing t try to accept me as your just inferior girl ?

I m really hoping for a answer from you somedays .

Zhang jiawei ? will you give me all that i yearn for ?

and let me feeel those touch and proudness thy once gave?

will the one be you ?