Woah. hahaahah .

actually. i have nothing to do w him alr!

points upstairs *
Bcos its gng t be the end of 2008 soon. so i might as well post up my last word of him.

Which is Goodbye.

people knows. Friends know , family knows me .

if i made the first move. and he stil shows nothing.

i will go away.

I thought leaving jw world was hard.

i thought i will cry everyday. hah. bt how wrong was i .

i havent try & i thought i cant

bt after i did. one day not to think of him keep myself busy etc .

i got on . i moved on.

never till now . i cry , i msg him.

maybe yes. the last conver we had broke my heart into pieces.

so yes. can i say thanks?

well. ego aside. i finally got over you.

bt . in my head. i keep wondering , why ? why you didnt fall over me?

cause i m not pretty enuf was the only answer i get.

so thats my only . regret.

arghhhhh.

well enuf of him

i think and seriously think 2009 will be bad for me.

MY HP DROP INSIDE WATER AT 5.30 PM31 dec

fuck up !! --"

ZHANG JIAWEI .



What the fuck!?
Leading me on blindly . Fuck off mans!
i don need guys like you to control my damn life.
its my damn pathetic life. yes . not much interesting life.
fuck. yes so what if you are gorgeous. hot . fit. 6 big packed small packed.
i don bllooody care now. fine i fall in love w you at first cause : damn you are bloody hot!
bt now. really , i m falling in love w your personality , with th secure you give me . w all the bloody freaking . i donknow what.
i cant deny looks does matters alot. sumore. you are hot noted pls !
so yes i fall in love w you !
But what th hell. i m just a fling. plaything probably . hahah . no i think bloody more suited to be dog .
call as when you like it . thn chase away as when you like it also.
i don deserve that fucking treatment from anyone. least from you.
thats what i get , fr loving someone perfect yes ?
hahaa. big improvement my backside .
that night. what all the bloody pretendence about.
yes you jio-ed me out. out in the bloody fucking xmas eve eve night. you rmbed. yes me too!
that night. you treated me so well. it makes me bloooody think . freaking think out of nowhere think . zhangjiawei is MINE .
BOOON`S jiawei. but no. why? why do this to me?
out of responsiblity bcos is you jioed me out and so you have to pei me . eat my damn nasi lemak when i donwant to. talk t me about your life. hear my damn life. watch me gng around consoling your damn drunk friend. walk w me in the rain. tell me blooody things i want to know . carry my bag. everything. you are so afraid of letting me do anything.
Why? bloody. everything that seems so damn true . yet they arent .
after eaach of us return home. blooody everything change to how it used to be .
ps : maybe i really shdnt use my-usedtobe for my blog --" { Just for laughs though , }
Anw, what can i do? blooody you refuse to reply my blooody msg.
my urgency to talk to you. bloody you shut me out from what it seems a perfect love.
bloody bloody you. Liar . whats all that talk about , yes i would consider that girl
consider backside lah! --" but well. can i blame you?
yes ? no ?
you never lead me on do you? just that everytime i m forgetting you. getting fucking you out of my mind ,
you pop over , Yes noted pop over. sometimes just to say yo , sometimes ask me out.
well. gorgeous guy ask me out . of cos i oblige like why not right ?
damn it . why did i ?! and pooof* i cant bloody forget you again can i ?
shit ! & that all sums up why now now now POOR POOR ME cant forget you can i ?
bt . i shdnt blame you .
you didnt lead me on . like givin me msg or what.
you are a no-shitter person like me . well. almost like me .
we are just too similar.
we like , we go for it all& for once.
we don like . we bloody ask them fuck off.
yer. true Bloody . i get the hint now zjw.
i fuck off okay. never to enter your bloody world again.
bt yes. please bloody fuck off from mine too.

Similar but . yet. it ended this way.
what is real and what is not.
i m feeling giddy alr.
ps for long vuglar post. i just had to get it out of me .
no colour , no fancy font. nobody reads it deh.
only me . so yes. i m posting and slping !
finally i know . i tried i lose . i angry in the end, i can slp!
i m feeling so tired now . bye jiale (:
Bow over jiawei ! bye gorgeous. you are out now !(:

Sunday 1 am . plusplus?
He is back ! Zhanggggjiawei is finally back frm his msia trip!!
Well none of my business . but .. i did strike dates . i did count how long he will be gone.
I did not even want to online when he is not in country.
People used to ask me . " jiale , you really like jiawei? for his looks or his talent?"
i used to brush off the idea. and say haha, maybe just a crush.
But now. i crave for him ! i cant live without his scarsm.
i miss him. my head hurts as i think back to NP45 .
all those assholes actions . i donknow. i wanna ask you. i wanna ask you what?
ask you to be my boy? would you?
i find you hate me more &more now.
you dont even want to spend a min talking to me.
you dont used to be like this!
why this change?
m i not good enough for you.
i thought after what kenneth tell you. & you think well alrdy thn you contact me
i thought since you contact me. you must have want me like i want you. BUT NO!
--" you played me like doggy !!
like .. i donknow what.
one moment you are all full of anxiety , full of nonsense to entertain me . even i m angry you would let me scold you, Ask me out to movie , to find you !
&the next moment . i saw some freaking girl beside you. the next moment i turn back. everything i do was shit in your eye.
--"
tell me what you want wont you?
i don believe you like her.
you wan jacket , i got plenty. simi pun wu. you want WHAT !! TELL ME!!
--" you don tell , i donknow !
i miss you zjw.

ASSHOLE. yes . tday day is pretty much of an asshole day
. rainy days = cold temperature&wet floors & yes..... lazybum .
and thats how next stupid accident spoilt my day!
Falling down cause the damn stupid slippery floor! & yes worst of all.
thrs a handsome teenager ( bt w girlfriend. so yeah fine )
AND Yes , joanne call me & say Whr are you. LARRY finding you!
goshness. i m late for one &half hoour . fuck. so i hurry out &
yes . i found larry sitting thr waiting for me.. shittttttttttttttttttt. well i thought he was gonna scream or ,, least blame me !
BT , Damnny good larry, jokingly said : kiss all the man on this floor & i shall forgive you luh "
AWWW. thats sweet. cause. i know he did not blame me. yet he like so forgiving , still ask me eat breakfast alrd.
awwww. larry if only you are 17 ! i would b the first in your line k (:
hahaha xD bt IF ):

Another accident ! is well. bitch bastard & son of a bitch !
this is all bastard fault that the whole family is named by me LIKE THAT!
sorry bastard !
well. HE IS SO GEY GAO OKAY , TELL HIM NOT I CALL ONE ALRD! keep blaming . WHY YOU ALL SVCS LIK TT ! NEVER CALL AND ASK WHO NEVER COME BLA !
tell you NOT I CALL ONE ALRD! cheeebye. i donhave your num how to inform you lah!
asshole !
thn he said. call manager. i wanna know who call me &stuffs!
I M JUST A RECEPTIONIST ! & PLUS I M NEW UNCLE !! --"
so , bloody just shut & go to your damn queue okay
and his queue was just like .. 1 MORE NUMBER!
fuck you bastard. so geygao for wht ! --"
bloody bastard.
so all the while his .. son of a bitch was walking ard cant you bloody helped me out !!
JUST A FUCKING RECEPTIONIST. CHEEBYE =="

anw. thn met jo dinner.
and talked about Jiawei.
fuck . i m gng t let go.
shit. i m emo .
urghhh, he is online & .. nothing more.
his nick was . jiawei , dane ... sunshine bla * fuck!
--"
i have a quarell w mum & i made her cry.
god. kill me .
i hate myself.
adolescene teenage girl . maybe i m just a xiao ahlian.
shdnt depise lian thn, hais =x

I m tiredddddddd.
freaking tired of me & him ,
i m like nobody to him .
i hate to see that his blog have another new blog link of girl.
Hate t see , FUCKING hate to seee .. new girls photo on his blog,
MA DE --"
though i m nobody to him.

Yes , this is the reason why i decide to get over him
cause. i cant see any reason why not to.
though jo gave me lots of reason why not To .
bt , well. thy are just reasons. no factual or what
..

Reasons to get over him :

• Cant see any future w him
• too insecure. ( too many girls falling around him __
• Too handsome. ( fuck , is tt a reason ? )
• he lied.
• i never once imagine that i feel like . kissing him ? ( OHGOD, --")
• i m mad.
• there are better guys out there.
• HE DONT SMOKE?
• Too good to be mine ?
• He is not rich ( i m materialistic okay ! --" )

Reasons not to get over him *

• He is a good guy ?
• He asked me out. ( JUST TWO OF US ) !! ( JO CLAIM BY THIS PT , HE DOES HAVE INTEREST IN ME)
• i m okay for him. ( Not ugly what !!! )
• HE IS HOT !
• i like him once & still abit now.
• i m mad.
• he dont smoke !?
• HE STUDY WELL. WORK WELL. FIT & HANDSOME
• he is damn hot !
• i find no other guys hotter thn him. ( well except . yan ya lun )

Shit. common test is ending soon

i m gng to have the .. courage soon.

to make myself. joke of the day --"

i love you , yes. bt loving you make me feel like a idiot.

fuck. is okay if i leave? doesnt it matters to you . those dance , flirty msg, and caring concerns.

does it goes to others girls too ?

why do i feel inferior to you.

i m not. fucker --

CHUI --"