Secret time*
went towning tday . sibey sian. town is getting mre&more sian.
fuggin shag . however. laughter still fills as i m out w winx sis!
cfm laugh.
anw. i talk and talk & more talks w her.
& i find out. canoist is like gossiping bout me and him.
. "something fishy going on" come on. whats so fishy about gng out drink w a guy-friend in the middle of the night when i . Ben xiao jie got nothing t do.
noted : Ben= stupid here ;D
yes fishy indeed. please , now thn i know. guys like to gossips too!
what th fucking world has become to ! --"

Anw. i think . & i guess. & i really think . he like someone alrd.
i been to his blog.
his song change. and somehow i can sense it .
its like . i know. deep inside. i know nothing can change anymore.
even if he dont like anyone or he like anyone.
its none of my businesss.
i decide to give up then. and now. its 2009.
i have no ways . no more other choices. i gave him up. without trying .
and i know i cant turn back.
but everything seems. so much like a dream. of him &me.
a perfect guy & a girl next door.
i hate girls next door okays.
blooody ugly the meaning !
ANW. I MISS HIM NOW.
I WNA GO UP TO HIM & TALK TO HIM .
I WNA SEE HIS EYE.
I FEEEL LIKE MESSAGING HIM.
I FEEL LIKE HEARING HIS LJ VOICE.
I FEEL LIKE LEETING HIM INSULT MY FACE. ( thats stupid)
I FEEL LIK SITTING NEXT TO HIM.
I FEEL LIKE KISSING HIM. OOOOOOH . yes thats what i wna do.
i wna . most feel like just see his name on my phone.
i wna .love you. just you
cant you blooody see it?
i m gng t sing so what soon.
i have too much air inside me . Angry airrrrr=="
fuck off jiawei. frm my life , my mind. my everything
bloooody. i wish i hadnt go in at the start.

hear this . & get this clear :

i bloody . regret gg vivo tt fateful day , i bloody regret knowing you&looking in those eye.

i bloody regret putting down barrier &become . immerse in you.

i blooody regret everything .

except . the touch of yours still lingers on my hand.

i . still . hope . for . a . miracle .

donknow i m scolding or . immersing again.

shit i hate myself so much.